Welcome to the Cheese House

This week the AP reported that 2000 soldiers have been killed in Iraq. In honor of these fallen men and women, a moment of silence – roughly 22 seconds – was observed in the U.S. Congress. What I find most contemptible about this empty gesture is that it is the silence of so many members of that body which has precipitated those 2000 deaths. It is the silence of Americans, most of whom are not directly affected by the daily misery of this unnecessary war, that will lead to the next two thousand dead souls. Silence is the problem – it is not a solution and it is the last thing needed today.
As Americans we have become a culture that wants the world but doesn’t want to pay for it. How many magnetic ribbons adorn the vehicles of men and women whose own children are not at risk? It is easy to send strangers off to do the fighting but the truth is that most of us feel no direct effect from what is going on. Our children are not dying, we don’t wait in line for food or fuel, our taxes do not go up – we are asked to sacrifice nothing.

But most is not all.

Two thousand dead soldiers means at least two thousand grieving mothers, two thousand grieving fathers, and countless other thousands of loved ones and friends. For them, this war is much more than the occasional page three story in the newspaper – it is a daily tragedy – a daily test of their courage and strength to get through the day knowing that their child, husband, wife or self could be the next casualty. The rest of us barely pay attention and until we are forced to take notice, perhaps by the implementation of a draft, we will allow this disaster to continue unabated.

We went into this war, for the most part, alone. Proponets like to point to the handful of countries so indebted to the U.S. they provided token assistance to the initial invasion - countries like Costa Rica and Poland. The only nation with a troop presence even remotely worth noting is Britain, and let's face it, they are our bitches when it comes to foreign policy. What may be worth considering is if the reluctance of many European countries to join us in this misguided escapade could have had something to do with the fact that many of the countries that comprise the EU and NATO require some sort of military service by their populace. Perhaps if all Americans actually had to take part - if we all had to suit up and pick up a weapon - we would be less likely to pick these type of fights. The truth is, we rarely care about anything that doesn't directly effect us. We are nothing if not essentially selfish bastards.

But enough about the war – there are other issues snagging the worlds attention that I would rather focus on and not all of them involve this silly country.

This week the European Union ruled in its highest court that only white brine soaked cheese originating in Greece may carry the moniker “feta”. This huge victory for the Greeks now validates their historical claim to this fine delicacy. The decision was greeted with widespread enthusiasm by the people of Greece who, lets face it, celebrate very few victories in this modern world. Other nations however, particularly Denmark whose own version of Feta is widely beloved, greeted this ruling with disdain, so much so that the Minister of Dairy (seriously) called the high court decision “crap.”

But what does this mean to you, me, and the rest of America? I mean, like the war, the only true measure of the importance of this ruling lay in how it effects us as individuals. Well, it means that Danish, French, Bulgarian, and Italian white cheese will now have to go by a different name causing an enormous amount of confusion in the cheese aisle. It means that shopping for Feta will consist of a single choice which is about the most un-American prospect there is.

Still, even with all those implications, in this country, the news about Feta is greeted with almost no attention. Like the war, the news about Feta probably only effects a small percentage of us - the Feta eating populace. If it had been Swiss or Chedder perhaps the outcry would be larger, but Feta - who gives a fuck about Feta?

No one.